Why God Hasn’t Removed Your Desire to Drink (Yet)
What Paul’s thorn can teach us about cravings, surrender, and learning that His grace is enough.
“Jesus, I Can’t Do This Anymore.”
Those were the words I whispered into the bathroom mirror on March 9, 2020.
I had had enough with alcohol. I didn’t know what freedom would look like; I only knew I couldn’t do it on my own. I needed Jesus to help me.
What followed that desperate cry wasn’t a lightning-bolt miracle. It was months of messy, tearful, intentional work, examining my thoughts, unravelling my patterns, and asking hard questions about what I was really seeking at the bottom of the wine glass.
I never prayed, “God, remove the desire to drink.” To be honest, at the beginning, I’m not sure that’s what I wanted. At the time, I couldn’t picture a life without rosé and margaritas. Instead, I asked Him to be with me each day as I tried to figure out what in the world I was going to do without Casamigos and Whispering Angel in my life.
And over time, through prayer and a whole lot of what I now will call “self-brain surgery” (because that’s what Dr. Lee Warren has coined it), something remarkable happened: He renewed my mind. He rewired my desires. The cravings faded. And then, they evaporated for good.
But here’s the thing: not everyone’s story looks like mine.
When God Doesn’t Remove the Thorn
The desperate prayer of “God, please just take away my desire to drink!!” is one that I have heard more times than I can count from the women I am blessed to coach.
And sometimes that desire evaporates, and sometimes it seems like it’s going to be there forever.
Which begs the question: Why?
Why does God miraculously remove alcohol cravings for one person while another gal wrestles for years? Why do some people seem to struggle forever with alcohol, or whatever their “thorn” might be?
If you’ve read Love Life Sober, you know my sobriety verse is 2 Corinthians 12:9:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
But if you zoom out, that verse isn’t about instant deliverance. It’s about God’s refusal to remove a struggle.
Here’s the full passage:
“…even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.
Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.
Each time He said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
(2 Corinthians 12:7–10, NLT)
Paul begged God to remove the thorn. God didn’t. Instead, He gave Paul His grace and His power.
The thorn remained. The grace carried him through.
Living Free
I recently completed a Beth Moore study called “Living Free” (an oldie, but a goodie, if you haven’t done this one yet, it’s worth a look) with my Bible study group, and this jumped out at me.
Beth writes;
“ Strongholds are thoughts taken captive to anything but Christ. If Satan can take our thoughts captive by leading us to focus on battling him, he’s successfully built another stronghold.” 1
How often do we spend all our mental energy on the battle itself, the wine cravings, the secular sober-verse, or just sobriety as an identity? (I could make an argument here that this is yet another reason AA or any other secular recovery program without Jesus falls majorly short, but I’ll save that rabbit hole for another day.)
Beth continues;
“Remember that God is far more interested in our relationship with the Deliverer than our being delivered. Sometimes the overwhelming power of a stronghold may be instantly broken, but the renewing of our minds takes a lifetime.”2
Sometimes God sets us free in an instant. Sometimes, He lets us walk it out over years. Either way, His purpose is the same: being in relationship with Him. Intimacy.
Back to Beth;
“Let’s face it, some holds in our lives are simply stronger than others. If God is getting our full cooperation, the length of the process or the intensity of the struggle is up to Him.” 3
Read that last line, the one I bolded, again.
Your battle with alcohol (or again, whatever you’re currently struggling with surrendering), is up to Him.
Don’t misunderstand me here, God never tempts us. But He does allow us to be refined. And He always provides a way out of temptation, usually by equipping us to fight with His truth, just as Jesus did in the wilderness (Matthew 4).
Paul writes;
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. (1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT)
Let’s circle back to Beth;
“You see, it all depends on His objective. I’ve come to believe that God generally prioritizes one of two objectives:
Showing us His power or
Teaching us that He is all we need. (He is sufficient).”4
Here’s my point. If He took away the cravings and you’re free you get to praise Him for showing you His power. If you’re knee-deep in wine cravings at 5:00 PM He just might be trying to tell you that He is with you. He’s all you need. And that He is sufficient.
So let me ask you:
Have you been so focused on freedom from alcohol that you’ve forgotten to focus on the One who is with you in the struggle in the first place?
Do you see how battling our idols can become so self-focused instead of Christ-focused—on the Me! Me! Me!—instead of the Him who longs for us to rely on Him?
My “Other Thorn”
I may not be struggling with alcohol anymore, but I have another stronghold that feels eerily similar to that old battle some days. Something God has been nudging me to lay down.
At first, I excused it.
“It really is not that big of a deal.”
“Other Christian women I respect are doing it.”
But deep down, I knew. Even if it wasn’t a big deal for others, it was something God was specifically telling me needed to go. The more I kept it in my life, the more I felt a chasm creeping into my relationship with Jesus. Because how could I be fully transparent and surrendered in prayer if I was willfully clinging to something He had asked me to lay down?
One morning, I snapped my Bible shut in frustration and muttered, “Ugh, fine!” Then I grabbed my phone, texted a trusted friend, and confessed: “There’s this thing I’m trying to put down. Will you help me?”
And here’s the kicker: the desire didn’t disappear. It’s still here. Some days, the thoughts are SO LOUD that ignoring God feels like the easier route.
This has been humbling. It’s shown me that maybe this particular thorn won’t be removed. Maybe, like Paul, I’ll carry it for life. But if that’s the case, I trust that God has a purpose in leaving it.
He is showing me, He is sufficient.
He is strong enough to carry the weight of it when it feels too heavy.
He is near enough to whisper the truth when the lies get loud.
He is gracious enough to remind me that my weakness is not failure, it’s the very place where His power gets to shine as perfect.
Some days, those statements I just wrote are easier to believe than others.
The Grace That Holds You
I was sharing this with a coaching client I adore when I saw her eyes light up. The alcohol cravings were still there at 6 PM each evening. The thoughts that drinking would help were loud.
But she realised that God was with her in it. She was not alone.
His power.
His nearness.
His pursuit of her.
All present in her weakness.
God will always show up. He will always provide a way out. And for the woman today who is asking why she still has to fight this same battle, I want to encourage you:
The sanctification process—the molding of us as clay in the Potter’s hands—looks different for each and every one of us. In your alcohol exodus, He is teaching you (just as He did for me) so many different things.
Some of my favorites have been: that His timing is perfect. That I can take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. That I don’t have to conform to everything the world is doing. That stillness and quiet are essential if I want to hear from God. And so much more.
So if you’re still struggling with the alcohol thing, pause and ask: What is He teaching me here?
And might it just be… that He is sufficient.
Journal With Me
Take these questions to your journal. If you’re free from alcohol, swap out alcohol to whatever stronghold/idol is currently acting as the thorn in your side.
In what ways has alcohol taught you that God is powerful?
In what ways has your struggle taught you that He is sufficient?
Do you believe He can sustain you on the evenings when the wine is calling? Why or why not? (If you’re struggling here, meditate on Mark 9:24: “I do believe. Help my unbelief.”)
Rewrite 1 Corinthians 10:13 in your own words as it applies to your alcohol battle. Do you believe He will be true to His Word?
Practically speaking, what can you do tonight to lean into God’s grace instead of letting wine’s whisper take you captive?
How would it change things if your focus shifted from being delivered to knowing the Deliverer?
Beth Moore, Living Free: Learning to Pray God’s Word (Updated Edition) – Bible Study Book (Nashville: LifeWay Press, October 2023), 27–28.
Ibid.
Ibid.
Ibid.
Wow!!! Very interesting perspective on the thorn in the flesh. Very well written, this spoke to me and I would bet several others. Thankful for your work and sharing your story.