Who said you have to keep going back to day one?

Every alcohol-free day counts, even if they're not consecutive. Here's how to embrace the wins and focus on progress, not perfection.

When we think about living alcohol-free, counting consecutive days without a drink is often the go-to measure of success. Today, I want to challenge the idea that counting days is the only way to track progress. Instead, let’s explore the concept of growth points and how they can be valuable tools for self-reflection and transformation.

Why Counting Days Isn’t Everything

If you’ve been in the sober-verse for a hot minute, you may be familiar with apps or journals that track the number of alcohol-free days. And while these can be great motivators, they sometimes create a false sense of failure when we “break a streak”.

Here’s a thought experiment: if you were running a marathon and tripped at mile 22, would you go back to the starting line? Of course not! You’d dust yourself off and keep moving forward.

Hebrews 12:1-3 offers a powerful reminder: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus."

What if sobriety is part of the race marked out for you, and perseverance—not perfection—is the key?

Similarly, if you’ve gone ten days without drinking and then have a drink on day eleven, that doesn’t erase the ten days of hard work and progress you’ve made. Those days still count. The key is to start again from where you are, not from zero.

What Are Growth Points?

Rather than seeing moments where you drink as failures, view them as growth points—opportunities to learn about yourself. One of my clients recently called these moments “speed bumps,” and I love that analogy. Speed bumps don’t stop you; they simply slow you down for a moment.

Growth points offer a chance to examine your thoughts and behaviors before, during, and after drinking. Here are some helpful questions to reflect on when a growth point occurs:

• Why did I decide to drink? Was it due to stress, overwhelm, or a specific trigger?

• How did I feel immediately after drinking? How did I feel the next morning?

• What can I learn from this experience?

By answering these questions, you can identify patterns, triggers, and circumstances to avoid in the future. This isn’t about beating yourself up—it’s about cultivating curiosity, grace, and compassion as you navigate your unique journey.

Designing a Life You Love

Ultimately, this journey isn’t about reaching some arbitrary number of consecutive sober days. It’s about creating a life you don’t want to numb or escape from. Every time you choose not to drink, you’re taking a step toward that life. Even if you don’t hit 100% alcohol-free days right away, reducing your drinking by any percentage is still a win.

For example, if you usually drink seven days a week and start drinking only four days a week, that’s a 42% improvement. That’s significant progress! Let’s celebrate those wins, however small they may seem.

And if you’re looking for tools to help you measure and celebrate your progress, my book Love Life Sober: A 40 Day Alcohol Fast includes a personalized celebration tracker. It’s designed to help you mark milestones and reflect on your growth—even if those forty days aren’t consecutive.

Tracking Progress Differently

Instead of resetting your counter every time you have a drink, try these alternative methods for tracking your progress:

1. Print out a monthly calendar: Check off the days you didn’t drink. At the end of the month, calculate the percentage of alcohol-free days. If you’ve improved compared to previous months, that’s progress worth celebrating.

2. Use the personalized celebration tracker from Love Life Sober: Mark off milestones like your first five alcohol-free days, your first ten, or your first forty—even if they aren’t consecutive. Progress isn’t linear, and that’s okay.

3. Journal your growth points: Every time you encounter a speed bump, write about it. What did you learn? How can you approach similar situations differently in the future?

Progress Over Perfection

The ultimate goal here is to feel better—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Drinking less will get you there. Progress is about moving toward that goal, not about achieving a perfect streak. Remember, you’re never truly back at day one. You’re always moving forward, learning, and growing.

Philippians 1:6 reminds us: "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." You’re on a journey that God himself is guiding, and He’s not finished with you yet.

If you have ten days alcohol-free and then drink on day eleven, don’t focus on the one day you drank. Focus on the ten days you didn’t. Start counting again with day eleven as your next alcohol-free day. Keep building on your wins.

Check out the podcast we recorded- “Do I have to count days?” You can also listen to this episode here on Spotify or here on Apple pods.

Grace, Compassion, and Curiosity

Think of a toddler learning to walk. When they fall, we don’t criticize them or call them failures. We cheer them on, encourage them to get back up, and keep going. That’s the mindset we need to adopt for ourselves on this journey. Every step you take, every choice to drink less, is progress. You are learning. You are growing.

So, let’s toss out the rigid rule that says you have to start over every time you have a drink. Let’s embrace growth points, celebrate progress, and keep moving toward a life we truly love.

You’re doing an amazing job, babe. Keep going. You’ve got this.