I'm not in recovery. I am free.

When the Holy Spirit gives you that nudge to lay down alcohol it’s because He has something FOR YOU. And that thing is not fear.

Whether you're scrolling through the Instagram soberverse or familiar with a traditional method of "recovery," you've probably seen the following message: If you're not working at recovery, you're going to relapse.

I saw a post recently that went a step further and stopped me in my tracks. It said, and I am slightly paragraphing, “Living a sober life is like teetering on the edge of the abyss, afraid at any minute you’re going to fall to certain death.”

That doesn’t sound like freedom to me. That sounds a lot like fear.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

I don’t feel like I’m teetering on the edge of an abyss. I don’t live in fear of drinking again. I have no desire to drink. I am not "actively “working a recovery program”, and if I didn’t do what I do as a writer and ministry founder- I wouldn’t ever actually think about alcohol. It holds no power or significance in my life.

I know that true freedom from alcohol is possible because I have experienced it firsthand.

Let me be crystal clear. I did A LOT of work with Jesus to get here. And I am not saying this stuff to take down or disparage traditional methods that have helped a lot of people. However, I do want to point out that if you feel like you have to follow a set of rules forever to stay sober, and if you don’t, you will face destruction, there is another way.

Let’s talk about the difference between living in “recovery,” the way the world explains it, and true freedom from alcohol.

What I Am NOT Saying…

I am not saying that we don’t need to work on becoming more like Jesus every day. I am not saying that continuing to work with a therapist, coach, or mentor to help you continue to let go of your current idol of the day isn’t important. Being a disciple is a lifelong journey that never ends. Am I forgiven for the sins that resulted because of my disordered relationship with alcohol? Yes. Is there new sin to deal with? Yep. It just doesn’t have anything to do with alcohol.

I am also not saying that physical dependence on alcohol isn’t a thing. There are people who very much need to seek medical help because they are drinking so much that coming off of alcohol—a highly addictive drug—is really dangerous.

Alcohol use disorder is a spectrum—I talk about it in my book—but the point is that not every single person who is addicted to alcohol is the same. But no matter how far you are on either end of the spectrum, I believe, truly, in my heart, because of what Jesus did for us, that true freedom is possible.

What I AM Saying…

When the Holy Spirit gives you that nudge to lay down alcohol (or insert whatever current thing that is taking too much of your headspace/money/time here), it’s because He has something FOR YOU. And that thing is not fear.

I have found that when we respond in obedience, He has the fruit of the Spirit waiting for us, including so much joy, peace, and patience. But again, not fear, not shame, and certainly not striving (to make a bunch of meetings, hit a day goal, etc.).

I’ll never forget when a 1:1 client told me that when she attended a traditional recovery meeting, she was told her alcohol addiction would be in the parking lot doing push-ups, waiting to take her down at all times. How scary is that?!

This fear of constantly having to work a recovery program seems to be the basis for even some Christian “recovery” programs. I always tell my clients I adore them, but they shouldn’t need sobriety coaching forever.

“One day at a time” is super helpful in the beginning when you’re fighting the physiological effects of ethanol in your body, and drinking to relieve withdrawal is a real challenge.

But you shouldn’t have to live your life “one day at a time” for the rest of your life, when it comes to alcohol.

True freedom—without fear—is possible from individual idols if you take your thoughts captive, change your thinking, and give it to God.

Why I Say ‘Freedom’ Instead of ‘Recovery’

Instead of “recovery,” I say “freedom from alcohol,” and here’s why.

I no longer have to recover from alcohol.

I know, I know—this is going to sound super controversial, but I have recovered from my alcohol-use disorder. I am free. I am no longer in “recovery.”

Usually, when I make this declaration, I am bound to get one of two responses as critical feedback. 1. I must not have had a real problem with alcohol, and 2. If I spread the word that there is a way to freedom other than staying rooted in fear, I am going to cause other people to relapse.

So again, let me clarify. Yes, I fell on the alcohol-use disorder spectrum. I was drinking pretty much every day. It had taken over a lot of my life. It had damaged the most important relationships to me. It had robbed me of my joy; it had stolen my peace. It had taken A LOT from me.

Is spreading the truth of freedom from alcohol dangerous? 2 Timothy 1:7 springs to mind.

It reads, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (NLT).

God doesn’t want you to stay stuck and afraid of your sin or that thing that you made an idol. He wants true freedom for you.

Am I recovered from sin? Nope. Do I have to find freedom and “recover” from other things? Heck yeah, every day. I won’t ever be fully sanctified this side of heaven.

Here’s What Freedom From Alcohol Means to Me…

🩷 Never having to worry about whether or not I’m going to “relapse.”
🩷 Not having to go to meetings for the rest of my life.
🩷 Never suffering from FOMO.
🩷 Stepping into a bigger, bolder, brighter life.
🩷 Feeling more confident than I’ve ever felt.
🩷 Feeling full of hope, not fear.
🩷 Walking into a room full of drinkers and having zero desire to have a drink.
🩷 Having alcohol be so small and insignificant that it takes up zero time, energy, and headspace.
🩷 Choosing not to drink because I have no desire, not because I fear that if I have one drink, I am going to die.
🩷 Choosing not to drink because I have no desire, not because I have a lifelong disease with no cure.

FOMO

FOMO is the other thing that I have seen pop up in programs that are all about willpower and behavior modification. Can you really be free if you still have a desire to drink? If you miss it? If you feel deprived? If you feel like you’re the woman who’s the odd-one-out and “can’t” drink because you have an incurable disease?

Again, to me, that is not true freedom. Freedom comes when you lose the desire to drink because you have taken the time to rewire your brain.

How to Find True Freedom

A woman in our community recently posted that she had been trying to find freedom from alcohol for three decades. She had been fighting the cravings with willpower for a very long time but always came up short. When she turned to understanding the cravings, she was able to unlock the reasons behind why she was drinking and bring them to the light of truth.

I give you a step by step guide on how to do this in Love Life Sober, and I’ll be coaching through the 40 Day Fast for Lent starting March 5th. If you’re interested in joining us here’s some more info.

This is where I get really excited and totally nerd out because Scripture has given us the formula to rewire our brain, and those verses are 100% supported by neuroscience. The Bible said it first, before any “recovery” program. (Dr. Lee Warren is a key follow for how to biopsy your brain, break free from destructive patterns and live in hope.)

Breaking Free From the World’s Recovery Narrative

Romans 12:2 is one of my favorite verses. In fact, I used it so much when I was writing my book that my editor flagged that I should think about using a different one. But today, as I am writing this, I am looking at it through a fresh lens.

Paul writes;
“Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down … God brings the best out of you.” (MSG)

I love using this verse when I am helping a woman break free from alcohol. You don’t have to drink like the world tells you to drink—you don’t have to use alcohol for celebration, relaxation, connection, and reward like every Netflix show and glossy Instagram post tells you to. That’s the world.

You’re meant to be different. Set apart.

But you also don’t have to “recover” like the world tells you, either. You don’t have to count days. You don’t have to go to meetings forever. But most importantly, you don’t have to stay stuck in fear of falling off the cliff. Instead, you can take your throughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), renew your mind (Romans 12:2), and embrace the transformation and freedom God has for you.

God has more for you than fearing alcohol for the rest of your life.

He has not given you a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.

Is it time to claim it?